A mature husband wearing an olive-green T-shirt and camouflage Army uniform pants shaves at a bathroom sink. His wife stands beside him, resting her hand on his arm and smiling affectionately. The large mirror reflects both faces as he holds a razor to his cheek, where a small patch of shaving cream remains. Soft daylight fills the room, capturing a warm, everyday moment of connection in marriage.

Marriage Encouragement: Building Each Other Up Through Faith

October 08, 2026•5 min read

I married an Army officer—clean-shaven, sporting a high-and-tight haircut, wearing a sharp uniform, and in shape.

That was our marriage for twenty-four years. Then my husband retired.

He packed away the flight suits and uniforms, removed his watch, and stopped checking emails.

What he also tried to give up was his razor.

Now, I appreciate retirement bringing a little freedom. But I’m especially fond of my very handsome husband’s square jaw and the cleft in his chin. I prefer being able to see them without searching through facial hair.

So began our ongoing shaving discussion.

It certainly isn’t the biggest challenge a marriage can face. But this little disagreement has reminded me how easy it is to notice what bothers us while overlooking what we appreciate.

Marriage Encouragement Begins with What We Notice

There is one significant flaw in my battle plan: I’m not a detail person.

Sometimes Seth shaves, and I fail to notice. Let him go a few days without shaving, however, and suddenly my observation skills report for duty.

I try to approach our relationship with encouragement. Instead of reminding him to shave—although, truthfully, I occasionally do that too—I try to tell him how handsome I think he looks when he does.

Sometimes that compliment arrives a day or two late.

Thankfully, I married a man full of grace and mercy.

The lesson for me goes beyond facial hair. I want to notice the good things about my husband while they are happening. And I want my compliments to communicate appreciation, without making every kind word a campaign for my preferred outcome.

Seth deserves to know I enjoy him, even when his razor is enjoying retirement.

Faith Gives Us a Direction

First Thessalonians 5:11 calls believers to encourage one another and build each other up.

That instruction belongs in our homes, too.

Christian marriage encouragement can take shape in the way we speak, listen, help, and welcome each other. Faith gives us a direction for those choices: treat the person beside us as someone deeply loved by God.

Before speaking, we can ask ourselves: Will these words help my spouse feel understood? Is there something good I have overlooked? Could I approach this conversation with more patience?

We can also ask God to help us notice what familiarity sometimes hides.

A simple prayer is enough to begin: “Lord, help me see and appreciate the person You have given me to walk beside.”

Friendship Makes Room for Joy

Before our marriage, Seth had experienced a difficult four-year marriage where daily arguments were common. When we married, he made it his goal to make me laugh at least once a day.

I cannot remember a day when I haven’t laughed with Seth.

His humor is one of the ways he reaches toward me. It says, “I know you. I enjoy you. I want to share something good with you.”

I endeavor to compliment him often and for different things: how handsome he is, what he does for me and others, and the work and sacrifices that have helped make our life together possible.

Those compliments fill his love cup. Honestly, that is my goal every day.

My appreciation and his humor help fill small spaces that could otherwise feel lonely. They remind us that we matter to each other.

What brings your spouse joy? A shared joke? A quiet walk? Hearing that you still enjoy their company?

Make room for that this week.

Service Can Look Like Giving Your Attention

Years ago, we learned something in a parenting class that stayed with us.

When your child enters the room, stop what you are doing when you can. Pause the television. If you’re on a casual phone call, ask the person to hold for a moment. Make eye contact and smile.

That small welcome communicates several things without a word:

You matter. I noticed you are here. I’m glad to see you.

We still practice that habit with each other.

Giving someone your attention is a small act of service. You briefly set aside your activity to acknowledge the person in front of you.

Of course, you cannot interrupt every task immediately. But you can look up, smile, and say, “Give me a minute. I want to hear about that.”

The goal is to help your spouse feel welcomed into your day.

For more ways to show love through everyday actions, read Serving One Another Changes Everything.

Encouragement Grows Through Small Habits

Another habit in our marriage is greeting each other with a hug and a kiss when one of us returns home.

The person coming home also takes responsibility for making that connection. If the other person isn’t at the door, we go looking for them.

It is a small way of saying, “I’m home, and I wanted to find you.”

Marriage encouragement grows through moments like these: a warm greeting, a specific compliment, a thoughtful action, or laughter shared in the middle of an ordinary day.

You may think your spouse already knows you appreciate them. Tell them anyway.

“I noticed how much you handled today.”

“Thank you for doing that for me.”

“I’m glad you’re home.”

Those words give your appreciation somewhere to land.

For more ways to make your words count, explore The Power of Encouragement in Everyday Relationships.

Want more ideas for encouraging your spouse? Listen to Dave and Ann Wilson’s Building a Habit for Speaking Life on FamilyLife Today for practical ways to make appreciation part of everyday married life.