How to Network Without Feeling Pushy or Awkward

One conference conversation led to a friendship, a co-author partnership, and opportunities I never could have predicted.

How to network without feeling pushy or awkward?

The answer is simple.

One word.

Relationships.

Networking is a bit like dating—as far as I can remember, having been married for 42 years.

When you first meet someone, you don't tell them your entire life story.

You share a few highlights.

You ask questions.

You look for common ground.

You pay attention to how they respond.

Are they asking follow-up questions?

Do they lean in when you speak?

Are they making eye contact?

Body language can tell you a lot about whether someone is interested in continuing the conversation. That's probably a rabbit trail worth exploring in a future blog post.

For now, let's stick with relationships.

Pay Attention to People

When you meet someone, introduce yourself and do your best to remember their name.

Names matter.

If you struggle to remember names, find something else to remember about them.

Maybe it's:

• Their position

• A project they're working on

• A hobby they enjoy

• A place they've lived

• Their area of expertise

Find something unique and hold onto it.

People appreciate being remembered.

More importantly, they appreciate being seen.

My First Industry Connection

Before attending a large writers conference, I took a few baby steps.

One of those steps was meeting a wonderful author named Tiffany Amber Stockton.

Tiffany was a multi-published author who had been connected to the writing industry for many years.

She became my first real network connection in the industry.

More importantly, she became my friend.

Tiffany invited me to attend the American Christian Fiction Writers chapter in Colorado Springs.

That group opened my eyes to possibilities I hadn't considered.

Suddenly, I wasn't trying to figure out the publishing industry alone.

I had found people who understood the journey.

Finding My People

Through ACFW, I joined a critique group.

Then I attended a one-day conference hosted by the Colorado Springs chapter.

It was so much fun connecting with other writers.

For the first time, I felt like I had found my people.

One of the greatest gifts networking provides is community.

Writing can be lonely.

Relationships remind us we're not walking the journey alone.

Preparing for My First Big Conference

With Tiffany's encouragement, I decided to attend the Colorado Christian Writers Conference in Estes Park, Colorado.

You can learn more about the conference here:

https://conference.writehisanswer.com/conference-details

I wanted to arrive prepared.

So, I researched every speaker.

I studied the workshop schedule.

I searched online for information about the conference and the faculty.

When Tiffany and I drove to Estes Park, I carried a notebook filled with notes.

I had researched people I hoped to meet and identified possible connections we might share.

Maybe they had lived somewhere I'd lived.

Maybe we both loved dogs.

Maybe we had adoption stories in common.

Maybe we shared similar interests.

People—even agents, editors, publishers, and bestselling authors—appreciate genuine human connection.

Remember, they're attending conferences to build relationships too.

Sometimes, All It Takes Is a Different Chair

When I arrived at the conference, I made a simple decision.

I wasn't going to sit with the same people at every meal.

Breakfast.

Lunch.

Dinner.

Different table.

Different people.

At first, it felt a little uncomfortable.

Then something interesting happened.

I started meeting more authors, editors, agents, publishers, and industry professionals.

Before long, I noticed other attendees doing the same thing.

One small decision dramatically expanded the number of people I met.

Networking opportunities are often hiding in plain sight.

Sometimes all it takes is choosing a different chair.

Relationships Open Doors

During that first conference, I met what would become another dear friend, Susan M. Baganz.

At the time, her laptop had stopped working, and she was understandably stressed.

I offered to share mine during the conference.

We clicked immediately.

Years later, Susan became my co-author.

At another conference, I met Tamara Clymer of CrossRiver Media.

Instead of talking publishing, we spent time sitting beside a cozy fire discussing something much more personal.

We were both adoptive moms.

That conversation led to a friendship.

That friendship eventually led to opportunities.

That's why networking works best when it isn't focused on networking at all.

It's focused on people.

Take Notes Before You Forget

One habit that served me well was writing notes immediately after conversations.

As soon as I walked away from someone, I would jot down:

• What we discussed

• Things they shared about themselves

• Resources they requested

• Submission information

• Follow-up actions

• Dates and deadlines

Those notes helped me remember details and follow through on commitments.

People notice when you follow through.

What Networking Really Is

Networking isn't collecting business cards.

Networking isn't pitching yourself to everyone you meet.

Networking isn't trying to impress people.

Networking is building relationships.

It's asking questions.

It's listening.

It's remembering details.

It's being genuinely interested in other people.

It's showing up consistently.

It's serving others.

And often, it's making lifelong friends along the way.

Your Next Waypoint

My first conference wasn't about getting someone to read my book.

I hadn't even finished writing it yet.

My goal was simply to meet as many people as I could while I had access to them.

That decision changed everything.

You can do it too.

Be yourself.

Ask questions.

Lean in.

Look people in the eye.

Focus on relationships.

The opportunities will often follow.

Related Compass Stops

• The Author Visibility Road Map: 7 Ways to Grow Beyond Simply Writing a Book

• How Authors Can Find Speaking Opportunities Using Their Books

• How to Pitch Yourself to Podcasts as an Author

Question for You

What's one meaningful relationship that has influenced your writing journey? I’d love to hear about.

Recommended Resource

The Colorado Christian Writers Conference played an important role in my writing journey and introduced me to relationships that continue to impact my life and career today.

Learn more here:

https://conference.writehisanswer.com/conference-details