Make Time to Enjoy Each Other

Our quiet, empty-nest life is about to get a little louder—and we can hardly wait.

Our daughter-in-law and two grandchildren will stay with us while our son attends Air Force basic training in San Antonio. Our serene two acres in the Texas Hill Country will soon welcome a spirited three-year-old and her six-month-old brother. Serenity, meet snack time. 😂

When I mentioned the coming changes to my husband, he said, “We’ll have to reinstate date night.”

I completely agree. In the joy of having our grandchildren close, we don’t want to lose our connection with each other.

There isn’t anyone I’d rather spend time with than my husband, and he feels the same about me. Friendship is one of the foundations of our marriage. But even good friends need time together without a little voice calling, “Grandma!”

Friendship Travels With You

We’ve enjoyed each other’s company in a 450-square-foot apartment in Korea with a two-year-old and a six-year-old, during two months in our RV, and now in our 2,400-square-foot home. The space has changed. Our enjoyment of being together has remained.

Philippians 4:11 reminds me of the contentment Paul learned through changing circumstances. We’ve learned to be content wherever we are, with God at the center and each other beside us.

Being content is a wonderful place to live. And making time for our friendship helps us keep enjoying the life we share.

Still, that time can get crowded out. Work, children, grandchildren, and responsibilities fill our calendars. Before long, our conversations become a running list of appointments, errands, and what’s for dinner.

Those conversations matter. So does having something to talk about beyond the grocery list.

Make Room for Enjoying Each Other

Protecting friendship in marriage doesn’t require an expensive outing or an elaborate plan. It requires choosing time together and giving each other our attention.

Here are three ways to begin.

1. Put something enjoyable on the calendar.

Choose an activity you both look forward to: dinner out, a walk, a card game, or coffee on the porch. Agree on a time instead of leaving it at, “We should do that sometime.”

For us, reinstating date night means making room for our marriage while we enjoy this new season with our family. Both deserve our attention.

2. Be curious about your spouse.

Even after decades together, there are questions worth asking. What has made them laugh lately? What are they looking forward to? Is there something they would like to try?

Listen without turning every answer into a problem to solve. Sometimes your spouse simply wants to share a thought with their favorite person.

3. Keep small moments of connection.

A welcome-home hug, a shared joke, or a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation can help you stay connected between date nights.

In Marriage Encouragement: Building Each Other Up Through Faith, I share how compliments, laughter, and simple greetings help us show each other, “You matter to me.”

Build Each Other Up Through Friendship

The scripture guiding this series, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, calls us to encourage one another and build each other up. Making time for friendship gives us everyday opportunities to do that.

We can listen, laugh, notice something good, and remind our spouse that we enjoy being with them.

As I explored in Intentional Relationships Don’t Grow on Autopilot, connection benefits from deliberate attention. A busy season is a good time to decide how we’ll keep showing up for each other.

Want more ideas? Listen to FamilyLife Today’s Being Best Friends, featuring Kevin Thompson. His suggestion to take a walk together is a simple reminder: spending time with your spouse doesn’t have to be elaborate to be meaningful.

Your relationship trail step: Schedule one activity together this week. Put your phones aside and enjoy the person you chose to share life with.

What do you and your spouse enjoy doing together—and when will you make time for it again?