Unmet expectations are most often the root of all anger. I heard Dr. Phil give that as a definition of anger years ago and it stuck with me.
Unstated, Unmet Expectations
I would go one step further and say that unstated, unmet expectations cause most of our anger. Expecting people to know what we want without telling them is the first step to insanity. (I’m not really a doctor but I play one in my head.)
The definition of insanity it is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. The same could be true of unstated, unmet expectations. If we continue to fail in telling someone our expectations how in the world can they possibly meet them?
If you don’t move past the expectation that someone should just know what you want, then your relationship is doomed to remain ordinary. Extraordinary relationships have something in common and that is speaking what you expect from the other person. The greatest relationships all benefit by their ability to be direct and kind. It is possible to ask for what you want without sounding demanding or annoying.
Isn’t it wonderful when you know exactly what someone else wants from you? No more guessing games or wondering if you have measured up. Give your close friends and mate the opportunity to speak into your life, it gives you the benefit of speaking truth and love into theirs too.
Remember, just because you state your expectations doesn’t mean the person has to fulfill it or agree with you. However, knowing what you want makes it a lot easier for them to try.
Let people know exactly what you want, it will stop the guessing games and change your relationship from ordinary to extraordinary. You can do it!